


Petrichor

by TheWalrusAndTheCarpenter



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Storms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 13:34:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5498930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWalrusAndTheCarpenter/pseuds/TheWalrusAndTheCarpenter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even the strongest of people need protecting and comforting sometimes. || Garrett Hawke doesn't like storms, but somehow it's about a lot more than that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Petrichor

**Author's Note:**

> Edited: 26/12/15

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kirkwall was usually a warm place, with pleasant blue skies and comfortable temperatures for the majority of the year. During winter, the city rarely saw snow, which was a Maker-sent blessing to those living in the less wealthy areas. However, in summer the city often became unbearably stuffy thanks to the hot winds coming from neighbouring Antiva and Tevinter. Unlike the rest of the Free Marches, Kirkwall often got much cooler winds from Ferelden which when mixed with the high temperatures resulted in quite a lot of storms.

It was after a relatively cool spring, that Hawke found himself dreading the upcoming summer months. He tried to distract himself by going out of his way to do tasks for the citizens of Kirkwall. However he couldn’t ignore it when the weather had started to get worse.

He had been marching around Kirkwall with Varric, Anders, and Fenris doing various tasks for various people all day while hoping that the storm clouds in the distance wouldn't come his way. Really, they were lucky to have reached midsummer with relatively clear skies. Despite mentally begging for the clouds to remain away from him, they grew ever nearer. Hawke blamed the bad luck that he believed he was cursed with.

It wasn't that Hawke didn't like the clouds, or even that he did not like the rain; he just did not like what often came with them during this time of year.

The bearded mage sighed and looked up at the sky as the group walked back from the docks; the day had gone from bad to worse as the clouds darkened to a smoky gray. Light rain pattered down, slowly getting heavier by the moment. Hawke could feel the slight buzz of electricity in the air, which only meant one thing.

“Anyone up for a game of wicked grace?” Varric asked, checking over Bianca. The prized crossbow was thankfully not scratched from their encounter with bandits earlier.

From his spot beside the dwarf, Fenris merely grunted and nodded. They had played a few days ago and Fenris was determined to win back the money that he had lost.

“Why not? I’m sure the clinic can last another couple of hours without me.” Anders replied.

It wasn’t often that Anders could spare any time to leave the clinic and actually relax, and although he was terrible at the game, wicked grace sounded like a fantastic way to spend the evening.

With the decision nearly unanimous, the rest of the group waited for Hawke’s reply, but the short man was too busy focusing on the sky. He seemed unresponsive to their words, and he didn't even flinch as the heavy raindrops hit his face.

It wasn’t like Hawke to be this distracted. The man was usually relatively focused, his attention only wavering when he saw a mabari or something was wrong. Since the only mabari in Kirkwall was back in Hawke’s estate, that only left the second reason.

“Love? Is everything okay?” The blond mage touched Hawke’s shoulder lightly as he spoke in hope that Garrett would pay attention to him.

Pulled from his thoughts, Hawke jumped at the contact. He was dazed for a moment. With a confused look on his face, he looked at his companions before the question he was asked the first time around finally registered in his mind.

“Oh I-“ The loud rumbling of thunder cut Hawke off, and he automatically stiffened. “Uh, I can’t. Sorry. Not tonight. The dog needs washing.”

Varric and Anders exchanged a confused and worried glace, while Fenris just raised a dark eyebrow. Something was definitely up. Even though Hawke tended to keep his personal torments just that, personal, the group knew him well enough to tell when something was bothering him.

Lightning shot across the sky, lighting up the clouds with flashes of silver and white. The storm was rapidly getting closer; it wouldn’t be long before the lightning was the only light source. Soon he wouldn’t be able to see where he was going in the darkness of the storm. Swallowing, Hawke forced a smile which didn’t quite meet his tired brown eyes.

“I-If you excuse me, I really must be going. You know how bad Lord Barkley smells when he isn’t washed every few weeks…”

Hawke tried to joke, but it only proved to the others that something wasn’t okay. With that he turned on his heel and headed off towards High Town, leaving his companions standing there in the pouring rain.

“Didn’t he bathe his dog last week?” Fenris asked, watching as Hawke quickly walked away.

Biting his lip, Anders nodded. “I should go after him, something is not right.”

“I agree, blondie.” Added Varric “It’s not like Hawke to pass up cards.”

The dwarf had a valid point. Hawke rarely didn’t want to join them for wicked grace. In fact, most of the time the man was the one to get every together for a game in the first place.

As much as Varric wanted to stay and chat about their concerns regarding their friend, the cold rain running down his exposed chest was getting uncomfortable. Even Fenris was eager to find shelter from the storm, wet bare feet was not a feeling he particularly enjoyed. Plus, the electricity was starting to affect his brands and was starting to make him irritable.

Varric spoke up again, and patted Anders’ on the arm. “Go make sure he’s all right blondie, broody and I will head over to the Hanged Man. Feel free to join us later if you can.”

The tall blond pushed his dripping hair out of his face as he nodded. Saying a quick goodbye, he went off in the direction of High Town, hot on Hawke’s heels.

The estate door was half open when he arrived which meant that Bodahn wasn’t back from running his errands yet. If the dwarf was home he would have made sure the door was shut, or at least unlocked until Anders returned. Anders silently hoped that Bodahn would be back soon, the rain was really coming down and there was definitely a nasty storm on the way.

“Hawke? Love?” He called out, taking his soaked coat off and hanging it on the wooden rack.

Apart from the loud crashes of thunder and the sound of rain hammering against the windows, the mansion was eerily quiet.

Anders checked the study and the kitchen, and couldn’t find Hawke in either. He didn’t bother to check Leandra’s bedroom because the room hadn’t been touched since she had passed away, and so through process of elimination that meant that Hawke was probably in their room.

“Garrett…” He started softly, pushing open the bedroom door.

Instead of sitting on the edge of the bed, like he often did when he was distressed, the other mage was sitting in the corner of the room. His calloused hand was slowly petting Lord Barkley’s head as the mabari whined quietly. Hawke didn’t notice Anders presence at the door.

Anders slowly made his way over to his lover and crouched beside him, once again touching Hawke’s shoulder.

“Garrett, what’s going on?”

Bright lightening illuminated the room, shortly followed by thunder.

_It was darker than it should have been, even with thick storm clouds covering the sky._

_Fog rolled in from the fields and brought with it the stench of rotten meat and metal._

_The sound of thunder hid any noises that could have bought them more time._

With each second that the thunder continued, Hawke curled in on himself and his hand stilled.

“I’m fine.” Hawke mumbled, although it was very clear that that wasn’t the case.

Barkley looked up at Anders and whined again. Even the mabari was concerned.

“Love, I know you like to act tough but you don’t have to do that around me. You know that.” He said, rubbing circles on Hawke’s back.

The other man hadn’t even taken off his coat or his boots, both of which were drenched with rainwater.

_Bethany was asleep. Mother was asleep. Carver was at Ostagar. The dog was already at his heels._

_Nobody saw the darkspawn through the storm, not until it was too late._

_Each lightning bolt aided the darkspawn in their destruction, setting the wooden houses alight._

_With each flash of light, another dismembered and brutally murdered body was discovered._

_“Wake up, we have to leave.”_

_There wasn’t going to be enough time to escape, but he had to keep a brave face._

_“It’s going to be okay.”_

“It’s stupid.” Flinching at the thunder, Hawke sighed. “I’m fucking scared of storms. _Storms_ of all things.”

Suddenly, it made a bit more sense. Anders never understood why Hawke always seemed on edge when it rained or whenever it became cloudy, but now it made sense. He didn’t want everyone to see him scared because he was Hawke; he was their ‘amazingly fearless leader’. But Anders knew that the only person who thought that of Hawke was Hawke.

“Love, it’s okay. You’re allowed to be scared of things.” Anders said, moving to sit down rather than continue to crouch.

_Running. His blood pounding and lungs burning._

_Fires blazing, bows firing, the chilling sound of metal on metal._

_Desperate screams filled the air as they ran._

_He recognised each voice; they were family friends, people they grew up with. People that protected them, yet he could do nothing to help._

_With the rain blinding them, it was pure luck that Carver ever found them._

Shaking his head, Hawke sniffed and tried to push the memories from his mind. Whether his nose was running from the cold or from the tears welling up in his eyes, he couldn’t tell.

“But it’s _stupid_ , Anders. I can fight dragons, face slavers, and demons daily, but every time it storms I feel like I’m back in Lothering and I fall apart.” He explained.

Lord Barkley decided that now that Hawke and Anders were talking, he wasn’t needed. The mabari trusted the blond apostate to look after and care for his human, so he got up from Hawke’s lap and padded off downstairs to wait for the return of his favourite young dwarf, Sandal.

“Back in Lothering?” Anders prompted. He wrapped his arms around Hawke as the dark haired man moved to his head on his shoulder.

_Lightning, fire, thunder, metal, screams._

_Blood._

_So much blood._

“It stormed the day the darkspawn came.” Hawke pressed his face into Anders’ neck as thunder echoed through the empty house. “Nobody saw the hoard getting close because of it, the rain was too heavy, and the morning fog was too thick. All we heard when they attacked were people’s screams and thunder.”

“Garrett it’s okay, the blight is over. You’re safe here.” Anders wasn’t too sure what to say, he knew what it was like to have events trigger unpleasant memories, but that didn’t mean he knew what to say to make Hawke feel better even slightly.

The blond had been in Hawke’s position before, being haunted by memories of the past was never fun. Since being in Kirkwall, Hawke had helped him each time he fell apart due to memories of Kinloch; hopefully he could comfort Hawke as much as Hawke did for him.

“I know… But it just brings everything back. I watched the people I’ve known for most of my life get slaughtered and torn apart by darkspawn and I could do _nothing_. That could have been my family. We only _just_ escaped; it could have been my mother. Maker, the darkspawn took my little sister and every time it storms I can’t help but see her in the hands of that ogre!”

Despite his best efforts to contain them, tears began to roll down Hawke’s cheeks.

“I’m scared Anders. Blight sickness took my father. The blight took all of my childhood friends, everyone who I grew up with. The darkspawn took my sister and poisoned my brother. My mother didn’t even get to die peacefully. Then the taint is going to take you too. I can’t lose anyone else…”

In that moment, Anders regretted telling Hawke about his calling. But, if he had waited for a good time to tell him it would have never come. There’s no easy way to tell the one you love that you won’t get to grow old together.

Hawke trailed off as Anders started to stroke his lover’s hair. He was tired and scared. With each flash of lightning and crash of thunder, all he could see was the chaos and destruction that left his hometown in ruins. He saw the bloodied body of his sister; she looked like a doll a child threw in a hissy fit. He saw his brother’s gaunt, blight-blotched face fade into his father’s dying one.  He knew that Kirkwall was safe, that the blight was over, but it didn’t make much of a difference.

They stayed like that for a few moments, with Hawke in Anders’ arms. The storm was slowly moving away, with the thunder and lightning becoming less frequent, but the rain wasn’t letting up.

“Garrett, you’re freezing.” Anders said as Hawke began to shiver from the drenched clothing they were both still wearing. “Do you feel up to changing? You’ll feel more comfortable in something dry.”

Nodding, Hawke stood up from his position on the floor and made his way silently over to the wardrobe, pulling out his usual Amell family finery. He also picked out some of the clothes Anders’ had bought over when he first moved in.

They both changed relatively quickly, and soon enough Anders was ushering Hawke towards the bed.

“What do you need, Love?” Anders asked, sitting down on the bed next to Hawke.

“Just stay with me.” He murmured in reply “I’m sorry.”

The memories wouldn’t be stopped by sleep but hopefully with Anders with him, they would at least be eased.

The blond ran his fingers through Hawke’s hair to move his fringe from his face, and placed a soft chaste kiss to his forehead.

“Don’t be sorry love; it’s not your fault.”

Hawke shook his head. “I’m supposed to be the brave one though, it’s my job.”

“Hawke, look at me.” Anders said sternly, turning Hawke’s head to look him in the eyes. “You’re allowed to be scared; you’re allowed to have times of weakness. Nobody is going to criticise you for needing to take a break and talk, especially after what you’ve been through the past few years. We _all_ care for you, love.”

Hawke froze; he didn’t know what to say to that. Deep down he knew he was allowed to let his guard down once in a while but ever since he was young he had to be brave for Carver and Bethany, he guessed the need to hide his fears became natural instinct to him.

He was just starting to relax when a particularly loud rumble of thunder caught him off guard and he tensed again, his breathing increasing as he began to panic.

Instantly, Anders wrapped his arms around him, rocking him slightly.

“It’s okay, you’re safe, and everyone is fine.” He reassured. “The storm is passing; the worst of it is over.”

The storm did pass as the evening wore on. The whole time Anders stayed with Hawke, with his arms wrapped around him, protecting him. Sometimes it was easy to forget that Hawke wasn’t always the confident, valiant, fearless man he liked to make himself out to be.

Anders smiled softly as he looked down at the sleeping man beside him. It was during times like this when the mage realised just how much he loved and respected Hawke. Even if Hawke didn’t feel as though he could talk about these sorts of things with their other companions, it was enough for Anders to know that Hawke would talk to him.

Even the strongest of people need protecting and comforting sometimes.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like Hawke always feels like he needs to protect everyone by remaining calm and brave at all times, but sometimes he just falls apart because he's only human. Also shoutout to my friend Quinn for the idea about Garrett's fear of storms (more specifically thunder) coming from there being a storm while they were fleeing from Lothering.
> 
> Ahh sorry if there are any mistakes! I've written two works today and I'm not too sure either are particularly great so I'm sorry, I haven't really written Handers in a while and it takes a while to get back into the swing of things.
> 
> Edit: I've gone over and changed as many errors as I could find. I've also added a bit more detail to "plump" out the story a bit so I hope it's okay. I'm going to re-check again in a few days time just to make sure that everything is as good as I can make it


End file.
